The Tinii

It's plural for Tinius, because we said so.

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DIY: Homemade Ferris Wheel. By:Josh

Let me start by saying…  NEVER DO THIS!!!  (Commentary by Allison: When Josh says this, he’s serious. Listen. Please.) This was one of the dumbest things I ever talked my brother into doing as a kid!  It’s really a miracle that he didn’t break his back or something.

I grew up on twenty-six acres in the middle-of-nowhere Tennessee.  One day my brothers and I decided to move our trampoline from the immediate back yard to a tree in the field.  The goal was to move it under the tree so that we could jump from the tree onto the trampoline.  After having a little fun jumping out of the tree we decided to move it back to the yard.  By this point our arms were getting tired so we decided that it would be a good idea to set it on its side and roll it. I guess now is a good time to point out that at this time I was 14 years old, my brother Luke was 11 and my brother Nathan was 10.  It really shouldn’t be a problem for us to control.  Its not like trampolines are heavy or anything.


After about ten seconds of rolling it I came up with a great idea.  I guess while we were rolling it through the field I thought that it looked like a Ferris wheel.  I think the conversation went something like this-

Me:  Guys…  I just came up with the best idea ever!  We should ride the trampoline like a Ferris wheel!

Nathan:  Uh.. No… You do it.

Me: I will…  I just can’t do it first.  I need to see how heavy it is with a person on it to make sure you guys can handle the weight.  “Luke Just hold on, if you don’t like it we can stop!” (Commentary by Allison: Wow, you were all kinds of manipulative)

With a twinkle of curiosity in his eye, Luke shrugs his shoulders, grabs on and wraps his ankles around the legs of the trampoline.


As we start to roll its pretty obvious that Luke is getting a little nervous.  I however was determined to make this work.  So instead of slowing down and making sure he was ok, I sped up so that we would be sure to get him to the top.  (Commentary by Allison: HOLY MOLY, JOSH!!! WORST BIG BROTHER  EVER)


At this point Luke began to scream at the top of his lungs (as a grown up I really don’t blame him) only stopping to take short gasps of air.  I have never seen my brother that terrified in my life.  Before I could coach him down, he came up with a solution on his own…  let go.

Not unwrap his feet from the trampoline and then drop.  He let go with his hands and feet at the same time.  Resulting in falling horizontally from 15′ in the air and landing flat on his back on the ground.  Nathan and I were terrified.  Obviously it knocked the wind out of him.  Nathan was convinced that he was going to die and I was convinced that we were all going to die.


Luckily he didn’t die.  Nor did mom kill us all after she found out.  Come to think of it, I don’t even think she grounded us.  Probably because with all the kids in hysterics and without a paint diagram she had no clue what was going on!

I have a tendency to under exaggerate things (Commentary by Allison: This is so true. It’s annoying. Anyone who has heard us try to tell a story knows how we argue about this. Josh tells me I’m exaggerating even when I’m not and then tries to make the story BORING by downplaying it all).  I guess over the years I had convinced myself that it probably wasn’t as tall as I was remembering because we were so young at the time.  That is until the other day when I drove by a 13′ trampoline (ours was 15′) sitting next to someones house! Image

 (Final Commentary by Allison: How is Luke not dead or a paraplegic? And how did Charlotte not murder you?)

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Let it snow!!

The other night we were at a friends house playing board games when someone suggested going to toilet paper someones yard.  At first the idea was met with some resistance.  I mean, we are all adults who have to be up a 7:00 for work in the morning.  After a little convincing everyone decided that if we were going to do it, we needed to do it right.  So we and our adult budgets drove to the store and ended up spending way more money on toilet paper than I care to share online (I mean there are starving kids in Africa).  We worked until 4:00 AM and this is the final result!

16 linear miles of toilet paper

16 linear miles of toilet paper

The next day we went over and helped our friend Justin clean up his yard.  I guess that is another part of pulling a prank as a grown up!

While we were cleaning someone decided that all the toilet paper looked like snow!  So we decided to make a snow man (then set his ass on fire)!

Sleep now in the fire!!

Sleep now in the fire!!

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New Year’s…Bah-humbug. By:Allison

I don’t have a great attitude about New Year’s. It just never lives up to expectations. Everyone wants to get dressed up (except my husband) and have a magical night. The problem is, I’m tired from Christmas and I’m a little sad that’s over and I don’t like winter much and BAH HUMBUG. So last minute, we try to scrape some plans together that are never overly exciting. Josh and I don’t do PDA either so for years there was no magical midnight kiss but we sort of feel like we HAVE to because our friends are judging the heck out of our marriage if we don’t. So even that is BAH HUMBUG.

Then there are resolutions. Ugh. Years ago, I fell for it. I was going to lose 20 pounds and workout for an hour every day while simultaneously reading my bible and learning to quilt. Let’s call resolutions what they are….bullshit. You can have all the grand plans you want for the year, but ultimately life happens and who knows where you’re gonna end up! Over the years my resolutions got more manageable until they just became a joke. “I’m going to work out…weekly..occasionally…at some point this year I’ll break a sweat.” Why bother?

Which brings me to this New Year. I actually liked it. My “little” brother and his girlfriend were in town.

Look how cute we were. There were only like 8 years of his life when he was actually my little brother. Then somehow he got ALL the tall genes in the family and outgrew me quickly. Also I don't know why we look fake shocked.

Look how cute we were. There were only like 8 years of his life when he was actually my little brother. Then somehow he got ALL the tall genes in the family and outgrew me quickly. Also I don’t know why we look fake shocked.

So, this is not from New Years because I didn’t take any pictures in true Bah Humbug fashion. See what I mean about him outgrowing me? Also, how cute is his girlfriend? So cute! And I don’t know what’s wrong with my husband. We all look normal…then there’s him.

We started early playing dirty card games at The Village Pub, grabbed pizza, napped and watched football, and then walked downtown to watch the “Music Note Drop” (Oh, Nashville).

Here’s the thing…it was cold and raining. So Josh dropped us off and we walked downtown while he parked. We huddled up in a candy store waiting for Josh.

Side Story: Once Josh got there these three high school (ish) girls asked Josh if they could use his phone because theirs died. Of course, he didn’t care, but it’s weird. People ask him this ALL THE TIME. There was another group of girls about their age there and it seems that they would have asked them. I had been standing there in front of them for like 15 minutes, but they didn’t ask me. They weren’t flirting with him AT ALL. In fact they were flirting with some other guys their age. Seriously people ask to use Josh’s phone quite often. What is it that makes him look like…A) He has a phone that isn’t dead B)He won’t be weirded out C)He’s not going to rape/murder you? I love him and all, but he’s got long hair and pierced ears and wears hoodies. Strange.

Back to New Years. Right before the big moment we walked outside and did the obligatory countdown. It was pouring! About two seconds after the fireworks finished we were over it. We started walking back to the car…in East Nashville…like 1.5 miles…in the rain..and cold. We should have all been in the worst moods, but we weren’t! We were laughing about the ridiculousness of it all.

That night has led me to my Anti-Resolution. Crap is gonna happen this year. Who knows what kind. I’m just going to try and wake up in the morning and make the best of it all and hopefully when 2014 rolls around I’ll be a better person. That’s my vague sort of resolution/anti-resolution.

Last thing…2013 sounds straight up like the future. Why don’t we have flying shit?

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Uncle Josh… What is Hockey???

Since it looks like there will be no NHL hockey this season, I decided to teach my nephew a little bit about the game.


After the second try everyone started telling him (all at the same time) not to do that to anyone other than Uncle Josh.  He then got a little freaked out at the fact that he just beat the crap out of a grown up and started to cry…  Don’t worry, we’ll fix the crying thing before he starts pee wee.