About a year ago, we started getting serious about quitting our jobs and uprooting our lives in Nashville. We had the sailboat, were eyeing Haiti, and were feeling like it was time.
A year ago I was also on the verge of straight up panic attacks at the thought of it all.
I am, by nature, a worrier. And a pretty adept one at that. I can take a mundane task and conjure up everything that could go wrong with it. So, a year ago, I made worry a full time gig.
Now, looking back, I can’t tell you how happy I am that we quit really great jobs, left a great neighborhood, a great church, and great friends. There are still things that get me stressed and worried, but I feel more determined than ever to make my life meaningful – to try and ignore the little boxes the world says a life should fit inside.
The thing is, boxed and unboxed lives can be lived anywhere. I see people in Haiti still trying to cram their existence into the box that the church says a missionary’s life should fit into. I see people in small town Alabama and neighborhoods in Nashville whose lives are so full of joy and purpose that they break boxes left and right.
More and more I am understanding what our pastor in Nashville means by “being instead of doing”. If I can live just learn to live well – to live outside of fear and worry, to live with joy for others – then the “doing” part will be done and done well. Being is much harder than doing. I can do nice things for Josh, but actually being kind for a solid 24 hours is near impossible!
I had settled into a nice life of “doing” in Nashville and fear was keeping me in that box. I could easily do the same here, but I really don’t want to be crammed back in there!
If I haven’t gotten cheesy enough for you yet, listen to this…
I don’t know much about life, but my advice is this. Do not worry. Do not be afraid. Yeah, it could all go to hell I’m a handbasket fast but that can happen anywhere at anytime. Be who you are supposed to be. Break your box.
For extra cheese measure here’s an inspirational photo of rainbows over the mountains of Haiti.